Like A Comet
by CosmicGirl22
Summary: Set right after 'Killeroo'-Fossil's neice comes to work in the Zooniverse. Bainbridge is smitten, as is Howard. Bainbridge/OC/Howard-Part 3-BobbyBobBob is a bit jealous.
1. New Hire

Im in love with Matt Berry so I decided to try a Bainbridge/OC---and no OC is complete without a love triangle. Bainbridge/OC/Howard

"Hey..uh…Mah-Bainbridge?"

"What is it?" Bainbridge asked not looking up. He had a lot of notes on his table and he was counting them.

"Uh…My brother was in town recently and left his daughter with me. He wants me to find her a job and says if I don't he's going to tell our mom I'm not in Vietnam."

"So what's this got to do with me?" Bainbridge shrugged.

"Well, I thought maybe she could work here…at the Zooniverse." Bob smiled broadly.

"And?" Bainbridge asked-his patience clearly reaching its breaking point.

"We don't really have any openings…" Bob frowned. "And she's not good with animals-or people."

"Well, that too bad." Bainbridge once again began counting the profits from the last month.

"Um…" Fossil tried to stall.

"No." Bainbridge refused.

"But…"

"No."

"Uh…Maybe if you meet her!" Bob opened Bainbridge's office door and pulled his niece in to Bainbridge's office.

Bainbridge was about to repeat his '_no'_ when he saw her. She was short like Fossil and a bit plump but actually kind of cute. One of his distinguished eyebrows raised.

"Helloo." He stood up behind his desk.

"Hi." She smiled-and half waved.

"What's your name?" he asked, pointing at her.

"Lily Fossil." She held out her hand to shake his, but he didn't shake it-he pulled it to him and kissed the back of it. His large mustache was softer on the back of her hand than she would've imagined it would be.

"Lily-charming." he said once finished. "So you want to work at the Zooniverse?"

"Yes." she nodded. "I could really use the extra money and…"

"Like money, do you?" he cut her off. He picked up the bills on the table-putting them in his jacket pocket making a bit of a show about it.

"Um-well -yeah."

"Who DOESN'T-amiright?!" Bob Fossil jumped in-hitting Lily on the back, causing her to fall forward a bit.

Bainbridge shot Bob a look that could have killed.

"But -uh- we don't have any openings right now, Lily." Bob Fossil said more comfortingly to his niece. "Please don't tell your father!" he added with a screech.

"Don't be daft, Fossil. We always have room here at the Zooniverse for someone of Lily's caliber. Welcome aboard." This time Bainbridge did shake her hand. She thanked him and walked out of his office.

"Order her a uniform and put her in the kiosk with Naboo for now-" Bainbridge said lowly to Fossil.

"I really appreciate this Bainbridge. I-" swift kick to the groin- "OW MY NUTS!!"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Howard sat on the bench and sulked. Sure he had beaten the Killerroo the night before but like an idiot he had ripped off his shirt in front of the entire crowd-which included Misses Gideon. The whole world now thought he was even more of a loser than they did before. Vince hadn't been much help either, he had spent the morning as far away from Howard as he could manage. Luckily enough the zoo was busy due to a school field trip and Bob Fossil was pleased enough about the extra money from the students to leave him alone.

"Hey there." a female voice said above him.

Howard looked up. She was short and cheery-a bit too cheery if you asked him. Probably someone come to laugh at him.

"What do you want?" he asked lowly.

"I was just going to congratulate you on your winning last night." She smiled.

"Oh really?" he was still skeptical.

"Yea, I only caught the first bit -you seemed to be down for the count, but I heard from my Uncle you managed to pull through and beat the Killeroo."

"Well-yeah I did…a bit" Howard stood, trying to be modest about it but yet enjoying the compliment. "You said your Uncle?"

"Bob Fossil. He runs the zoo…"

"Yeah I know Bob Fossil." Howard replied a bit testily. Looking at this girl he didn't really see the resemblance.

"Oh, well…cool" Ill see you around? I've asked my uncle for a job and I'm supposed to start today helping Naboo with the gift shop."

"Oh so you're working here now?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"Oh right well Ill see you later then."

"Cool." She waved and began walking away.

"I didn't get your name." he stopped her.

"Lily." she smiled. Howard was instantly smitten.

"I'm Howard Mo.."

"Monsoon Moon." she giggled. "I know."

---

"What's wrong with you then?" Vince asked Howard. Howard seemed to be in the worst trance he'd seen him in for a long time-what was worse was he wasn't even listening to jazz.

"I'm a new man Vince."

"A new man? Who are you then…Jasmine Banatime?"

"I'm in love Vince."

"Yeah, I know with Misses Gideon."

"Who?-no, Vince. Granted-- Misses Gideon did have a thing for me, but I've gone beyond that. I've got to look ahead to the future and that future involves someone new. Someone special."

"New? You're not going on about the fox are you?"

"No-" Howard scoffed. "Her names Lily….and let me tell you Vince. She's pretty smitten with me."

"Smitten? With you?" Vince shook his head.

"Yeah." Howard said. "Why should that surprise you?"

If you want more-let me know in a reveiw :) Thanks!


	2. Waste Management

-part 2-Howard teaches Lily the finer points of waste management.---Thank you for reviewing Holly-BethRAWR- Im glad you like it! I think Im the only Dixon Bainbridge/OC-if you knwo of anymore lemme know!

"Smitten? With you?" Vince shook his head.

"Yeah." Howard said. "Why should that surprise you?"

"So, who is this girl again?" Vince asked-ignoring Howard's question.

"Her name's Lily. I told you." Howard said-irately.

"Oh, Is she the new girl in the kiosk with the shaman?"

"That's her."

"Oh- I saw her earlier." Vince said.

"Did you?"

"I did. Bit of a nightmare really- She had priced all the tiny plastic giraffe's in the gift shop wrong."

"Really?" Howard asked-pretending not to be interested even though he really was.

"Yeah, had 'em all marked down by like 50 percent!" Vince shook his head and held up his hand to emphasize. "Some one came by bought ten of em. Naboo was furious. He was yelling-called her a muppet an' all."

"Ohhh…" Howard winced. "The wrath of a shaman-not good. Maybe I should go comfort her…"

"That's not all." Vince continued. "Then, mid-rant Dixon Bainbridge comes up."

"Dixon Bainbridge? What did he want?" Howard asked.

"He cut Naboo off. Told Lily she was showing initiative by clearance ing out all the extra tiny plastic giraffe stock. Told her to keep up the good work, then he left." Vince shook his head. "Crazy."

"What did Naboo say after he left?" Howard asked-still interested in the story.

"I don't know-got a bit peckish and wandered off to make a sandwich." Vince said and rubbed his tummy.

"You're useless, you know that?" Howard said and took off toward the gift shop.

"Wot!?" Vince put up his hands.

---

"I knew you were coming by." Naboo said as Howard approached the kiosk.

"Oh, saw me in your crystal ball-did you?" Howard asked.

"No, I just saw you walking this way. Anyway what you want?" Naboo asked. He had enough to do training the new girl without having Howard hanging around his shop.

"I was just seeing how everyone was getting along." Howard said as he craned his neck around to look for Lily.

"If you're talking about Lily, I sent her to the stock room to get more giraffes." Naboo said-just then Lily arrived-arms full of plastic giraffes.

"Here let me help you with those." Howard offered.

"If you could just get the door that would be great." Lily said.

"Sure thing. Not a problem. I've been opening doors a long time." Howard began as he opened the door for Lily. She went through and put the new giraffes into the basket. "Not just literal doors either, doors of opportunity. I didn't get where I am at this zoo today by keeping doors shut, no sir." Howard continued to talk. Naboo looked at him skeptically. Lily seemed to be only paying half attention as she priced the rest of the stock.

"Yeah-Howard if you don't mind we have a lot of work to do so…" Naboo tried ushering Howard on his way.

"Maybe I could take you around-give you a tour of the zoo- a few of the off beaten trails around here you wont see on just any tour. The Howard Moon Experience, I like to call it." Howard continued talking to Lily-ignoring the shamans hints.

"That would be great actually." Lily said standing up.

"Its settled then." Howard beamed and clasped his hands together. "We could do it now if you like…"

"Well, I have work." She pointed over her shoulder at Naboo.

"Go on, then." Naboo said. He really didn't have time for this, and he could do the work much better without an extra body in the small kiosk taking up space, anyway.

"Great!" Howard smiled. He motioned Lily to follow him and took her over to the hallway where the backdoors of the animal cages were. As he showed her the animals he couldn't help but show off a bit.

"Waste management is a very important part of zoo keeping." He said as the entered the gorillas cage. It had been opened for cleaning. "If you let the waste build up-the animal gets sick-wont be looking his best when visitors come by-so you really must keep all waste within sanitary levels."

"And how do you do that?" Lily asked-sounding interested.

"Well for that we use specialized equipment such as this." Howard reached over to the wall and grabbed a shovel.

"A shovel." Lily nodded-happy she knew the name of it.

"This isn't just any ordinary shovel, no." Howard said. "This is a wide barreled shovel -specifically designed for today's zookeeper. You'll notice how it hugs the ground as you scrape the waste." Howard displayed his technique of poopscooping for Lily. "Then once you have that you put it in the big pile like so." Howard said.

"What do you do with the big pile then?" she asked.

"The big pile-goes into several smaller piles and then we usually flush it down the men's." Howard nodded.

"Oh." Lily nodded as well.

"You want to have a go?" Howard asked handing Lily the shovel.

"Oh I don't know if I…" Lily began.

"No go on then-you're under the guidance of a professional." Howard grinned ear to ear and she found she couldn't resist.

"Alright then." she took the shovel from Howard and began to scoop the floor.

Just then Dixon Bainbridge walked past the open door-stopped midstep.

"What the hell is going on here?" He demanded at Howard.

"Well, um" Howard cleared his throat. "Bainbridge, I was just showing Lily here the finer points of waste manageme--"

"No, you're not." Bainbridge took the shovel from Lily and threw it into the larger poo pile. He took Lily by the arm gently and pulled her out of the cage. She waved briefly back to Howard as she disappeared around the corner. Howard waved sadly back.

"I'll see you soon, yeah?!" he called after where she had been.

---

Please Review! Thanks!


	3. Gala Invite

----thank you to burningblack for reveiwing. I hope you like where its going! Let me know!

Pt 3.-and no I dont own anything.

---

Dixon Bainbridge walked with Lily back to his office. "I don't know what Moon thinks he's playing at." Bainbridge said once they were inside.

"He was just showing me how to clean up the cages…"

"He was showing you how to do his job for him." Bainbridge said, as he rounded his desk.

"Are you sure…?" Lily asked skeptically.

"The zoo is full of employees like Moon." Bainbridge continued as though she hadn't spoke. "Lazy bastards who will try and pawn off their daily tasks on unsuspecting decent people like you. You must be on your guard for that kind of thing here-promise me you wont let anyone talk you into doing their work for them." Bainbridge raised an eyebrow.

"I promise." Lily nodded though still not convinced that was what Howard had been up to.

"Excellent. Now-Would you take these and pop them into the post for me. I cant be arsed." He threw up his hand, and handed her a stack of envelopes.

"Um…sure." Lily nodded-not pointing out the fact Bainbridge had just had her do what he made her promise not to. She took the stack of envelopes and looked through them. They looked official. "What are these?"

"Invitations. I'm hosting a charity gala next week here at the Zooniverse and I want to get the invitations out in time for the local elite to RSVP."

"Oh, Which charity?" she asked-genuinely interested.

"I've forgotten." Bainbridge said after he paused a moment to think. "Something to do with animals, I think. Anyway, I do hope you'll be there -in fact I'd rather like you to be on my arm that evening." He smiled charmingly.

"Oh-Well I …I'm flattered." she began.

"And rightly so." Bainbridge cut in. "Wear something formal and um, do something with your hair." He pointed at her hair and then quickly became interested in some paperwork on his desk.

"Oh, ok." She nodded-his tone of voice left little room for any sort of rejection. "I'll just go and post these then." She held up the envelopes.

"Mmhmm. See that you do." he nodded-waving her off with his hand-not bothering to look up.

She stepped out of his office and checked her reflection in a near by metal pole. "What's wrong with my hair?"

---

Lily lifted the flap on the mail box and took a step back. That had been an easy enough chore, but now she was confused-was she off for the day or was she supposed to go back to the gift shop now? She shrugged and began walking back towards Naboo's kiosk when her uncle, Bob Fossil leaped out at her from a nearby hedge.

"What do you think you're doing, Little Miss Ladius?" he asked upset sounding. His arms crossed tightly across his chest.

"Going back to the gift shop. Why?"

"What were you doing in Bainbridge's office so long? Hmm….waxing his balls!?"

"What?! No!" Her eyes narrowed. "He just asked me to mail some invitations for him."

"Oh." Bob said sounding a bit calmer. "Well, good." He uncrossed his arms. "Uh…keep up the good work." Bob said quickly and then walked off.

----

The next day, they had managed to find Lily a uniform. She put it on. It felt good to actually look the part like the rest of the staff.

That morning Bob Fossil had handed her a spray bottle and a squeegee and told her to wash all the glass in the zoo. So that's what had filled most of her day. She hadn't seen much of Howard and even less of Dixon Bainbridge, but once she began washing the window of the small room Howard shared with Vince that all changed.

"Hey there." Howard said coming out of the shack.

"Hello." Lily said as she finished the window. "Hey, Im sorry about yesterday-with Bainbridge cutting our tour short."

"Don't mention it." Howard put up a hand. "He was right. A lady like you shouldn't be dealing with that. I just got a bit carried away."

"Still, I'd like to continue the tour sometime. Even though after washing all these windows I feel like I know the place inside and out." She smiled.

"Speaking of inside-would you like to come in and have a cuppa tea?" Howard offered.

"Not really my break time yet." she motioned at her watch.

"Then don't take a break." Howard shrugged. "We have windows inside you can have a swipe at."

"Alright then." she nodded, and followed Howard inside.

Across the lot, from his office Dixon Bainbridge lowered his binoculars. "Howard Moon." he said tersely though no one was around to hear. "You bastard." Dixon turned to his desk. "Howard Moon wants to fight for the lady's affections, does he? Well, this means war." He picked up the phone and began to dial.

--so what you think? is Dixon in character? I have a hard time making him romantic without him coming across as well...dixon bainbridge lol


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